10 Ways to Be a “Cool” Mom with guest Kim Hanson
About this Episode
On this special Mother’s Day episode of Brainy Moms, Dr. Amy and Teri interview Kim Hanson, the CEO of LearningRx. Kim shares 10 ways to be a cool and caring mom. Some are cute and fun –like making sure you’ve got a great pair of sunglasses. But most parenting tips she shares are pearls of wisdom on connecting well with your kids. Our favorite? Always say yes to lunch or coffee. Join us to pick up a tip or two that might help you rock this journey of motherhood! And maybe pick up a t-shirt of your favorite band to wear while you listen.
About Kim Hanson
Kim Hanson is the CEO of LearningRx, the largest one-on-one brain training company in the world. She’s also the co-author of Unlock the Einstein Inside: Applying New Brain Science to Wake Up the Smart in Your Child. Kim is a former teacher and has made it her career passion to help professionals, educators, and parents learn more about the cognitive skills training world and the dramatic results it can have on real-life performance.
Kim is also a Board Certified Cognitive Specialist, an autism mom, a mom of twins, and a pastor’s wife. Originally from Wisconsin, she now lives in Castle Rock, CO.
Connect with Kim
Website: www.LearningRx.com
LinkedIn: kim-hanson-cfe-bccs-2903729/
Mentioned in this Episode
Download a free digital copy of Kim’s book, Unlock the Einstein Inside: Applying New Brain Science to Wake Up the Smart in Your Child.
Link to buy a paper copy of Kim’s book on Amazon
Our sponsor
LearningRx is a worldwide network of brain training centers offering cognitive, reading, and math remediation and enhancement for all ages. LearningRx has worked with more than 100,000 clients who have learning struggles and disabilities, ADHD, traumatic brain injury, autism, and age-related cognitive decline. Visit www.LearningRx.com or call 1-866-BRAIN-01 to learn more.
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Read the transcript for this episode:
Dr. Amy Moore:
Hi and welcome to this episode of Brainy Moms brought to you today by LearningRx Brain Training Centers. I’m your host, Dr. Amy Moore, here with my co-host, Teri Miller, coming to you today as usual from a sunny Colorado Springs, Colorado.
We are super excited to welcome our guest today, Kim Hanson. Kim is the CEO of LearningRx, the largest One-on-One Brain Training company in the world. She’s also the co-author of Unlock the Einstein Inside: Applying New Brain Science to Wake Up the Smart in Your Child. She is a former teacher and has made her career passion to help professionals, educators and parents learn more about the cognitive skills training world and the dramatic results it can have on real-life performance. This is actually Kim’s second visit to Brainy Moms. We’ve invited her back for a special Mother’s Day episode.
Teri Miller:
Sweet.
Kim Hanson:
Thanks for having me. It’s so great to be back.
Teri Miller:
Yes. I’m so glad that you are. I love the episode that we recorded several months ago. So listeners, if you haven’t checked that out, she gave us the most amazing tips, just beautiful family and parenting tips that I actually wrote some of them down and hung them from the fan pull in my house for a while to just remind myself and remind my children. So it’s a great episode. You’ll really be encouraged. So, Kim, we heard some of your story in that earlier episode, but for the listeners who weren’t with us, tell us a little about yourself and what brought you to where you are today as the CEO of LearningRx.
Kim Hanson:
Sure. So, I grew up around Brain Training because my dad was the founder of Brain Training, or definitely one of the pioneers and one of the fathers of Brain Training. So I’ve always been around it. I started out at four, as my dad’s partner. My dad would take me around on all of his business adventures, so I knew how to buy a house for no money down. [inaudible 00:02:20] gone to so many seminars. We did real estate. We did all kinds of things together.
So I started out being my dad’s partner. When I got to college, I decided to be a teacher because I wanted to help people learn better, faster and easier, which is actually what LearningRx does. But that’s what I went into and I did some other things along the way. I was a children’s pastor at a big megachurch, trying to make learning about Jesus fun. And then I joined LearningRx when we decided to not only share our programs, Brain Training, but to also share the business side of it. And that’s how I’m the CEO of LearningRx.
Dr. Amy Moore:
So [crosstalk 00:03:15] you actually took over when your dad retired several years ago?
Kim Hanson:
Yes.
Teri Miller:
Okay. And you have kids?
Kim Hanson:
[crosstalk 00:03:24] I have four kids. I have a 26-year-old son. I have twins that just turned 24, and I have a 21-year-old who just graduated from college a few days ago.
Teri Miller:
So great.
Kim Hanson:
I know. It’s almost like I’m done being a mom, but I guess I’m not.
Teri Miller:
Yeah. And if you’re watching this on YouTube and you’re thinking, “How does she have children that age? Was she 12 when the first one was born?” I know. She does not look like she could have kids that age. So, it’s true.
Kim Hanson:
Well, I do.
Dr, Amy Moore:
So, you’ve been in the education and learning space for a really long time. So, not only are you a former teacher and a master brain trainer, you’re an autism mom. This is your life.
Kim Hanson:
Yep. Autism mom. Also mom of twins. Multiples. So that’s kind of fun, too. And there were definitely challenges with that. You get really strong when you get to carry around two car seats.
Teri Miller:
My goodness.
Dr. Amy Moore:
Absolutely. We always enjoy hearing your pearls of wisdom. And in fact, your episode was so incredibly popular that we said, “You got to come back and give us some more pearls of wisdom.” And so, you’ve got 10 tips that you’re going to share with moms today. And so, we want to get started hearing those. What is your first one?
Kim Hanson:
So, I thought with Mother’s Day coming up, maybe it’d be fun to talk about how to be a cool mom. And so, these are 10 tips. Some of them are funny. Some of them are, I think, are a little more meaningful, but how to be a cool mom? Now that I have my youngest at 21, I feel like I’ve accomplished something when it comes to being a mom.
Dr. Amy Moore:
Absolutely.
Kim Hanson:
The number one is that you have to get yourself some cool sunglasses.
Teri Miller:
I love it.
Kim Hanson:
So, I like Aviators. Those were pretty good. I even tried these Cat Eyes and I got a, “Hey, cool sunglasses, mom.” And so you aren’t really there until one of your kids says, “Cool sunglasses, mom.” I got these. These are like those new Quay from Australia.
Teri Miller:
Okay.
Kim Hanson:
So here’s my other tips.
Teri Miller:
They’re like square. We have to describe them for people who are just listening. They’re almost square-ish and they’re really, really big. They’re kind of long across the top. They’re clear at the bottom and shaded at the top. They’re very cool.
Dr. Amy Moore:
Yeah, they have like this ombré shading.
Teri Miller:
Yeah.
Kim Hanson:
So, my son lived in Australia for four years and so I thought, “Oh, they’re from Australia. I’ll get them.” But then I saw a cute waitress wearing them and I thought, “Okay, now I’m on the right track.” And then when my kids saw them, they were like, “Cool sunglasses, mom.” So my other tip is, don’t spend a lot of money on these sunglasses though. Go to TJ Maxx. I spend maybe $10 on my sunglasses and then I just try them out. And if I wear them and my kids don’t think they’re cool, then I don’t worry about them.
Teri Miller:
Okay.
Dr. Amy Moore:
It wasn’t a big investment. And so-
Teri Miller:
Right.
Dr. Amy Moore:
… you can put them in the back of a drawer somewhere.
Kim Hanson:
Right. Like these cat eye ones that I got, I had no idea whether my kids would think they were cool or not, but I had a feeling maybe my daughter Gracie would like them. So-
Dr. Amy Moore:
Nice.
Kim Hanson:
… I tried them on. Although now I feel kind of funny because they are like, “They’re kind of out there,” you know what I mean?
Teri Miller:
No, those are probably my favorites. I like those.
Kim Hanson:
Are they?
Teri Miller:
Yeah. Hey, here’s an even cheaper tip that I just discovered. I broke the temple of my sunglasses just like two or three weeks ago. And for some reason I’m at the Dollar Tree store. I’m getting things for Easter baskets. I know the Easter bunny does that, but anyway, I just happened to be there and these cute sunglasses, $1.25 at Dollar Tree. I scored me like three or four pairs of really cute sunglasses to find some cool ones, even before I knew this tip. So I’m on the right track. I’m so glad.
Dr. Amy Moore:
Y’all I have to confess that I have a sunglasses problem.
Teri Miller:
Oh no.
Dr. Amy Moore:
Right. But in my defense I wear prescription sunglasses. So that in itself creates cost. But I have a collection of Kate Spade and Coach sunglasses. You can’t find those at the Dollar store, but-
Teri Miller:
No.
Dr. Amy Moore:
… I’m happy to buy my clothes at Target so that I can splurge on my sunglasses, and my boots and my purses.
Teri Miller:
That’s awesome.
Kim Hanson:
I don’t know if I would do Dollar Store ones, but I like TJ Maxx because they’re worth a lot more, but I only paid 10 bucks for them.
Dr. Amy Moore:
Right.
Teri Miller:
My Dollar store ones are just fine.
Kim Hanson:
They probably are. They’re probably really cute.
Teri Miller:
They are.
Kim Hanson:
Well, if one of your kids says, “Cool sunglasses, mom,” then you know they’re okay. If they don’t. Then ditch the $1.25 ones.
Teri Miller:
Yes. Okay. That’s the key. All right.
Kim Hanson:
I think it’s also helpful for you to have some cool jeans. So, have one or two pairs of jeans that are cool for your age group, or maybe even a little bit younger, but not way younger because then it’s not cool. So it has to be your age group. So, I think cool jeans and then the other thing that goes with the sunglasses is, if you have a sunroof in your car, you should use it.
Teri Miller:
Nice.
Kim Hanson:
Definitely when your kids are in your car, open up the sunroof, roll down the windows and let the wind blow through your hair. That’s cool.
Teri Miller:
That’s awesome.
Dr. Amy Moore:
And so what do the cool jeans do for you?
Kim Hanson:
I don’t know. Maybe they just help you even feel cool. Do you know what I mean?
Teri Miller:
Well, you guys, don’t you think we’re in a really weird jeans fashion stage right now? Because the thing that my kids are wearing and they’re looking for and they’re excited about are called “mom jeans.”
Kim Hanson:
Yeah.
Teri Miller:
So they’re into the high-wasted mom jeans. And so it’s so funny that I just got sunglasses. I also finally got my first pair of hilariously “mom jeans.” I went from the tapered, more like jeggings kind of, where they’re real slim at the bottom and finally transitioned. Got this pair of mom jeans and I’m thinking, “This is the dumbest thing ever. This is what I used to wear in college. This is so weird. We’re back to this weird style,” but I got the total thumbs up. “I love your jeans, mom. Those are so cool.” All right.
Kim Hanson:
I don’t know. I haven’t really done the mom jeans yet.
Dr. Amy Moore:
Me either.
Kim Hanson:
I just wear cool mom jeans.
Dr. Amy Moore:
Okay.
Teri Miller:
They’re out there everywhere.
Dr. Amy Moore:
Well, you have a dancer’s body so you can pull any kind of jeans off.
Kim Hanson:
Yeah. That’s true.
Dr. Amy Moore:
Like the rest of us with mom hips…
Teri Miller:
Right. Your mom jeans really work for moms anymore. I don’t know.
Dr. Amy Moore:
All right, what’s next, Kim?
Kim Hanson:
Okay. The next one is always play your music loud.
Teri Miller:
Okay.
Kim Hanson:
So, I’ve always had this goal that my kids would never ask me to turn up the music. Only turn it down.
Teri Miller:
Nice.
Dr. Amy Moore:
I like that.
Kim Hanson:
It’s always just… Even back in the day when I was playing Disney music, whatever. I just played it loud.
Teri Miller:
Okay.
Dr. Amy Moore:
Yeah.
Teri Miller:
I’m not cool with that. I need to get better. Okay. I’ll turn my music up. Yeah.
Dr. Amy Moore:
I’m super cool with that.
Kim Hanson:
It doesn’t matter what your music is but play it loud and if they’re asking you to turn it down then you’re cool.
Teri Miller:
Okay. I figured. Noted.
Kim Hanson:
Okay. So number three. Number three is be the person that you want your kids to be when they grow up.
Dr. Amy Moore:
That’s big. Tell us more.
Kim Hanson:
So, if you think about what are the five words that I want my kids to be, or their characteristics, when they grow up? So, I don’t know if you guys have any thoughts about that. What comes to mind is I want my kids to be kind. I want them to be smart. I want them to be cool. I want them to love Jesus. I want them to be funny and successful. Now, there’s probably some other things too. But if I drilled it down to what do I want them to be like when I think about them and what would make me proud? What would that be? And then I have to be that every day.
Dr. Amy Moore:
I love that.
Teri Miller:
I do too. I’ve never thought along those lines. That’s really a… That’s a big perspective.
Kim Hanson:
Well, when you think about it, they say that kids don’t really listen to you, but they watch what you do. So, it’s not about what I say. It’s about who I am and what I do and what I do in everyday life. So if I want them in everyday life to, I don’t know, maybe even be good with money. If I want them to be good with money, then I have to be good with money every day. If I want them to be adventurous, then I need to be adventurous every day. So, if I want them to be thoughtful to people, then I have to. If I want them to have grit and not be blown away from problems or issues, then I have to have grit. And our kids will end up being a lot like us. And so, if I want them to be a certain way, then I have to be that.
Dr. Amy Moore:
I really, really love that. We had a guest a few months ago, who said that the goal she had for her child was to contribute meaningfully to the world. And so then, everything that she chose as a parent, every reaction she had to his decisions, every decision they made as parents, was it helping meet that goal of their child being a meaningful contributor to the world. And I was so moved by that you hear, “Well, I hope my kid becomes a surgeon like me.” or “Maybe my kid will take over the family business.”, but you’re talking about characteristics that makes them loving, warm, moral, contributing people and that you have to be that way too. I love that.
Teri Miller:
Generous, relational, connected, attuned, spirit filled, seeking. Yes. So many things come to mind.
Dr. Amy Moore:
I think about being quick to forgive and showing grace.
Teri Miller:
Yes. Grace filled. Oh my goodness. Yes.
Kim Hanson:
So, as you can see, a good exercise is probably to write down what would I like my kids to be and write those character characteristics down and then think every day, “How can I live this out in my own life?”
Dr. Amy Moore:
I love that. All right. We go home now.
Kim Hanson:
I know. I thought that was enough.
Teri Miller:
Wow. Yeah.
Kim Hanson:
Okay. So number four, number four is, make fun, repeatable traditions. And they can be as little or as fuddy-duddy as you want them to be. But for example, every four years when there’s political debates, we always put out two bowls of M&M’s. One’s red and one’s blue. And then if we like something that the red person says, we eat an M&M or if we like something, the blue person says we eat an M&M. And so, it’s just a funny little tradition that we started.
And so my kids, well, I think last time there was a debate, which was a few years ago, but they called and said, “Mom, do you have M&M’s.” Cause they all wanted to come over and eat M&M’s as we watch it. But we do things like that with March Madness, even with Survivor or Big Brother, we’ll all do picks and then we’ll have a surprise. My kids have even lately put together a whole Excel spreadsheet. So at the beginning of Big Brother, we’ll all pick our two favorites. And then we play this game. If they’re on the block, then you get points. If they survive, that kind of thing. And then we have a winner at the end with some kind of prize. So it just makes it more fun.
Teri Miller:
Totally.
Dr. Amy Moore:
Those are great traditions.
Teri Miller:
I know. It’s so fun.
Dr. Amy Moore:
So we watch jeopardy together as a family. It’s the one thing that all of us enjoy. Cause everybody has their different hobbies and interests and take on life, but it’s the one hour where we can connect.
Kim Hanson:
Well, if you can think of a way to gamify it, do you know what I mean? So that there is a prize or like… During COVID we picked up a crokinole board, which it’s like this Canadian game and you flick the little disc. Well, to add a little fun to it, we got a family belt. Like a WWE belt. For whoever the championship is. So, we will run a little, I don’t know, qualification, and then we play and then a winner and the winner gets to hold the belt.
Teri Miller:
That’s hilarious. I love it.
Dr. Amy Moore:
That is hilarious. We’re screaming over the top of each other as we play jeopardy. We’re constantly, whoever can be the fastest and allowed us to answer, but we haven’t figured out a way to keep score. And that would be awesome. I think we should create an app or something like a family app.
Teri Miller:
Oh my goodness. That’d be hilarious. The jeopardy champion.
Dr. Amy Moore:
[crosstalk 00:19:00]
Kim Hanson:
And then you just come up with a fun prize too. Do you know what I mean? I don’t know, when we do football, sometimes it’s whoever wins gets a Jersey or maybe they get packer sweatpants or whatever it is. And so, qwe do something that’s just fun so that they can all, I don’t know, it adds a lot of family interaction, just a lot of fun, but we also do, like right now on Wednesday nights, we do sci-fi night and my boys come over and watch sci-fi films with my husband. I sit there kind of too, but… So just making fun repeatable traditions.
Teri Miller:
Okay. I love it.
Dr. Amy Moore:
All right. What’s next?
Kim Hanson:
The next one is always say yes to lunch or coffee. I decided this and I think it’s probably a good thing for you to do with your parents too, if they invite you to have lunch or coffee. I also, when my kids were in high school, I decided, “I’m always going to say yes.” So if they call me and say, “Mom, can we do lunch?” And even if I have something I’m still going to say, “Yes, I do want to have lunch, but I can’t have lunch until tomorrow.” Or, “I can do it at three”, but just to always say yes so that they always know I’m available. And I think it’s so important that our kids get one on one time with us. And just so that they know that they’re important to us that they’re special and that we care about them. And then I like to do an 80/20 rule, where I let them do 80% of the talking.
Teri Miller:
That’s good.
Kim Hanson:
If we do go to coffee or if we do go to lunch. And I only do 20%.
Dr. Amy Moore:
I like that.
Teri Miller:
Really hearing from them and gleaning from their heart and their experiences instead of… I think, when they’re little, as moms, we’re always instructing and telling and teaching, but to make that shift, I love that. And they don’t have to… It can still be little I’m thinking about times even with my nine year old where we’ve had an opportunity to just go out, we had an hour after some activity and we get to go out to dinner just the two of us. That’s really great, to remember that I need to be letting her talk. I need to be pulling things out of her and just listening. That’s good.
Dr. Amy Moore:
And Evan, my 17 year old, and I did a two day workshop at our church together last month and it lasted until 5:00 PM both days. And so we went out to dinner together, both of those nights on the way home, just the two of us. And I remember thinking, well, first of all, how lovely it was just to be able to spend that one on one time with him and debrief from the workshop, but also let him talk about stuff that was important to him, even though it wasn’t interesting to me. So, do I really get excited about all of the details of what happens with his friend groups? But the fact that it was just a safe space for him to share, I felt like really brought us close together.
Kim Hanson:
Our kids really love us and care about us and they want to spend time with us. And I think sometimes as parents, we don’t think about that or realize that. I know, now that my kids are older too, I like to take a weekend trip with just one of them. You know what I mean? It’s so refreshing and it’s just a good time to sew into them and just listen.
Teri Miller:
That’s so good. Oh man. I’m so inspired
Dr. Amy Moore:
So inspired. My wheels already turning.
Kim Hanson:
I would say yes to lunch for coffee. And I think you are right. It is even with your little kids. I remember, I had twins, so even when I would take Max by himself, I remember just holding his hand and he would just skip. Skip into wherever we were going because he was just all excited, so excited to have me by himself.
The next one, this is an interesting one, is be selective concerning your cringiness.
Dr. Amy Moore:
Be selective concerning your cringiness.
Teri Miller:
What do you mean?
Kim Hanson:
Have you had any of your kids say, “Oh mom, that was cringey.” I don’t get that very often either, but I’ve heard them say things are cringey. And so, I think that… So you want to embarrass them a little bit here and there when it comes to the romantic love that you have with their dad, with your husband. And so, I think that you need to have some little things that would make them a little cringey, but also that show that your relationship, my relationship with my husband, is central to our family and is the most important thing. So I think it’s healthy for them to see you kiss or to flirt a little bit, to go on date nights. I don’t know. I just think that that’s healthy. So you have to have the balance of it, where you’re right on the edge of what they might think is cringey. I don’t know. What do you guys think about that?
Dr. Amy Moore:
I love it. Jeff and I used to joke that our private time was ‘doing the taxes’. And so, at one point our kids picked up on what we were talking about. And so they were like, “TMI. We don’t need to know when you do your taxes.” So the fact that they know that we love each other I felt like was important and fun.
Kim Hanson:
I think it’s important too to always be building up your spouse, not tearing them down. It’s so easy to make a comment or to say things when you’re frustrated and you need to make sure that you aren’t doing that in front of your kids, but your kids are with you all the time. So it’s hard, but you know what I mean? You have to be positive when it comes to your spouse and your marriage, and you know what I mean? I think it’s important too, that they see that you have arguments or disagreements, but you don’t name call or do you know what I mean? You do it in a dignified way, so that they can learn that’s all also how you should fight or how you should go through a disagreement. I don’t know.
Dr. Amy Moore:
I feel super convicted right now. My husband was eating his Easter ham with his fingers at Easter dinner last Sunday night. And I looked over at him and said, “Are you 2?” In front of the entire family, but I thought “Why is he eating his hand with his fingers?” Anyway. And so, it just came flying out of my mouth. And of course, my husband’s so gracious, he just laughs and he’s like, “It’s more fun this way”, but it’s my very prim and proper Southern-ness that came out in front of the whole family.
Kim Hanson:
And you’re not always going to be perfect.
Teri Miller:
We got to grace, just like you said, Amy, grace for self too.
Dr. Amy Moore:
But he was very proud of eating said ham with his fingers. You know, [crosstalk 00:27:29].
Kim Hanson:
So, there you go. That’s cool.
Dr. Amy Moore:
He handled it well.
Kim Hanson:
Well, if that’s the worst thing, you’re doing pretty well.
Dr. Amy Moore:
So, before you give us the second in half of your list, we do need to take a break and let Teri read a word from our sponsor, which happens to be the company in which you are the CEO, LearningRx.
Teri Miller: (Reading sponsor ad from LearningRx)
Are you concerned about your child’s reading or spelling performance? Are you worried your child’s reading curriculum isn’t thorough enough? Well, most learning struggles aren’t the results of poor curriculum or instruction they’re typically caused by having cognitive skills that need to be strengthened. Skills like auditory processing, memory and processing speed. LearningRx one-on-one brain training programs are designed to target and strengthen the skills that we rely on for reading, spelling, writing and learning. LearningRx can help you identify which skills may be keeping your child from performing their best. In fact, they’ve worked with more than 100,000 children and adults who wanted to think and perform better. They’d like to help get your child on the path to a brighter and more confident future. Give LearningRx a call at 866-brain-01 or visit LearningRx.com. That’s LearningRx.com.
Dr. Amy Moore:
And we’re back talking to Kim Hanson, CEO of LearningRx. And Kim is halfway through her list of some tips for moms on how to be a cool, but also caring, nurturing, loving, awesome mom. So, we’re on number six, right?
Teri Miller:
I think we’re on number seven.
Kim Hanson:
I think we’re on seven.
Dr. Amy Moore:
Okay.
Kim Hanson:
So number seven is intentionally show your kids that you love them. And so, you know what I mean? They should know that you pray for them. And to pray for them in front of them, I think is a great thing to do. To leave them little notes. I didn’t always pack their lunch, but when I did, a lot of times, I might just take a post-it note, cut it a little heart from my post-it note and stick it on their sandwich. Or just leave them little notes when they’re going places or that type of thing. I know one of the things that we do at LearningRx, as they’re graduating, we write them an “I’m so proud of you” letter. And I think that that’s really important to do and to really actually be intentional about it. I know that the last time my daughter, Lily, went through our program at LearningRx, I wrote her an “I’m so proud of you” letter and she’s gone off to college, but if I go up to her old room, she has it hanging from some Christmas lights that go around her room.
Kim Hanson:
And it’s one of the things that are clipped on next to prom pictures and next to her golf tournament win and that type of thing. And so, to see how important that is to her, to tell your kids that you’re proud of them. So, to write them a letter, to pray for them, to compliment them when they’re displaying your family values, just to kind of point that out and say, “Wow, I really like the way that you showed kindness.” And give them that example.
Teri Miller:
So sweet. That’s so good.
Kim Hanson:
So define intentional ways to show your kids that you love them.
Dr. Amy Moore:
And I would think that they just will absolutely internalize those words of affirmation. We take it for granted that they know that we love them, but for them to see it in writing, to hear your voice when you say it.
Kim Hanson:
Even at my age, I have a “What to read on a bad day” file. I don’t know if you guys have those, but I have an email that my dad sent me and it was only four sentences long, but I printed it off and it’s in my “What to read on a bad day” file. You know what I mean? And every once in a while I need to go read it.
Teri Miller:
That is beautiful. I’m thinking, what if every once in a while I printed a picture, because I’ll get pictures of my face next to that one kiddo or whatever, but then they just sit in cyberspace or the cloud or whatever, you know what I mean? And I’m sitting here thinking, “Goodness, I could just send that to Walgreens prints or whatever. Just print that, have a little photo, send it with a letter that just says, “I just want you to know I love you. And I love these things about you.” And then they have just a little letter. I don’t have to spend a lot of time, but I’m thinking then that photo, they can do with it what they want. I don’t have to frame it. I don’t have to get it put on a canvas bag. Just they can stick it on a fridge. They can just keep it in a drawer. I’m going to do that. I need to do that.
Dr. Amy Moore:
And Teri, you’re super good at… One year for my birthday I came home… I mean, I came back to the office from lunch and Teri had posted these beautiful sticky notes all over the wall above my desk. Just words of affirmation about me. And then one time, she stayed here for the weekend and left these sweet little note cards, taped to my mirror, to my refrigerator. I found them three weeks later, hidden somewhere under a mug on my nightstand, just sweet words of affirmation. And so, to love your friends that way.
Kim Hanson:
We could all use a little love. And definitely our kids need a little love. So just to be in intentional about letting them know “I really love you.”
Teri Miller:
Very good. All right. That was number seven. We’re to number eight.
Kim Hanson:
Okay. Number eight is involve your kids in what you do. So for example, like I told you, my dad started taking me around as his partner when I was four and he would always call me his partner and introduce me as his business partner. And I was always involved in what he did. He used to sell books for successful living and he would have like a booth and I would run that. I was just always doing things with my parents. And same thing with my kids. My husband’s a pastor. And so, our kids have always come to church with us and served and done things with us, set up a bouncy house at a city function. And so, just involving your kids. When you’re cooking, involving your kids. Just the things that you do make sure that you’re involving your kids.
Teri Miller:
That’s really good. I like that.
Dr. Amy Moore:
And so, those are hard, right? Because you have to let go of your expectations and standards of perfection sometimes to include your children in an activity. Like painting the house. Every child wants to wield a paintbrush when you pull those out. And you have to say, “That’s so scary, if I’m going to let my child paint this wall.” But the sense of satisfaction that they get when you can set the boundaries in the limits and be like, “Okay, you can have this one section.”
Kim Hanson:
You learn best by doing though. So, it’s not that you just say, “Just paint it.” It’s like, “Let me show you the tips on how to paint something where you don’t leave a drip, how you tape first before and how you cover the carpet.” And, you know what I mean? That you go with the wood grain. So, it’s really teaching them life skills. Do you know what I mean? Same thing with cooking, same thing with greeting someone. How to be friendly, the best way to teach them how to be friendly is to put them in some type of a business or greeting situation and teach them how to give a really good handshake. And model that for them. And as they watch you do it and then they get to do it and all of a sudden they have all these skills.
Teri Miller:
We’ve had our kids do farmers’ markets since they were little. We live in Woodland Park, little small town, has this wonderful farmer’s market. And they have this thing called the Young Entrepreneurs booth or Young Entrepreneurs program. And so they let the kids put up a booth and they provide the awning and everything. And it’s for five bucks a week. And then the kids have to learn how to do the form at the end and pay their taxes to the farmer’s market. And they can have their little business. And so I’ve had kids do woodworking. My daughter, that’s 25 now, she roasted coffee, she home roasted coffee and popcorn poppers, face painting. My daughter Eliza started out with face painting and she moved on to henna and ultimately ended up, she’s this incredibly gifted henna artist. She has her own business, makes all this money. And so, things like that, involving them in something, so you’re scaffolding them towards becoming who they’re going to be. And not all of the kids had the same kind of business. They had different bents, different personalities, but I love that, involving them so that they can become who they are becoming.
Kim Hanson:
Well, it makes them really well rounded. And there are just so many things that you would never think to teach them if you don’t involve them. I don’t know that I would’ve thought, “I should teach my child how to put stamps on envelopes or how to shake someone’s hand or…” Do you know what I mean? There are a lot of those, how to do the laundry. So all of those things, your kids should know how to do. And so if you involve them, they’ll learn right along with you.
Teri Miller:
All right. Number nine.
Kim Hanson:
Okay. Number nine is culture over rules. This is something that we do at LearningRx X too is, we don’t have a lot of rules in our family. We didn’t have a lot of rules, but we had a culture. And so I always, as Hanson’s, this is the way we do this. As Hanson’s, Hanson’s do it this way. When Hanson’s are 13 years old, then they get to go to MAC and learn how to put on makeup and then they can wear makeup. So it’s kind of like a culture. It’s not a rule of “you can and can’t”, but it’s just how our family does things. So in our culture, for example, for my family, my kids could have a cell phone. They just had to pay for it.
Teri Miller:
That’s fine.
Kim Hanson:
So that means they got their phone when they got their first job and could hold that job and could pay for it. So it was just like part of our culture. It wasn’t necessarily a rule. It was just a culture. And so, the same thing is at LearningRx. It’s like when you come, you work hard and you sit up to straight and you give it your best. But that’s just part of our culture. It’s not necessarily a list of rules.
Teri Miller:
That’s so nice. It changes the perspective instead of this is sort of this negative thing. If you don’t do this, or you do this, or I don’t know that it just is like, “This is just how it goes. It’s just what we do.”
Dr. Amy Moore:
It sets expectations without sounding negative or punitive. And it sounds to me like it actually helps kids then be goal oriented. Well, if this is the culture, if this is the expectation in this family then my behavior and my choices need to match that and I’ll strive towards that. Which is so much better than, “Well, I’m not allowed to do that until I’m 13.”
Kim Hanson:
[crosstalk 00:41:11]
Teri Miller:
And then it’s more, “I get to do that when I’m 13”
Dr. Amy Moore:
Buy-in that way.
Kim Hanson:
Actually, my dad used to always say that. You don’t have to do it. You get to do it. One of my kids said the other day, said that to one of my other kids and my son was like, “Yeah, I hate that saying.” After you get to.
Dr. Amy Moore:
You don’t have to empty the dishwasher. You get to, it’s a privilege.
Kim Hanson:
But it is a really good life perspective to have. But you don’t have to do something, you get to do something. We take turns doing dishes at our house. So we all have like a magnet. And when you’ve done your dishes, you put your magnet at the bottom and then the next person does the dishes. So, if you live in our house, we just take turns helping and doing the dishes. Same thing with we all, we go to church, but we don’t just go to church. We serve at church and it’s neat to just even see like my son, who’s 26 now, he probably wouldn’t have to go to church and he wouldn’t have to serve at church, but he goes and he serves. He runs the whole video ministry and goes from camera to camera and that kind of thing. And he loves to serve. And so, just seeing your kids exemplify the culture as they grow up and develop their own culture is pretty cool.
Dr. Amy Moore:
I love that.
Teri Miller:
You’ve got lots of wisdom because you’ve got older ones now. You’ve really seen this happen and come to fruition. So that’s beautiful. Thank you. All right. We’re on 10.
Kim Hanson:
And my last one is, if you want to be a cool mom, you have to have some rock t-shirts. So I don’t know if you can see this, but today I’m wearing my Rolling Stones.
Teri Miller:
That is good.
Dr. Amy Moore:
Yep.
Kim Hanson:
So when you go to a concert, here’s my Weezer t-shirt
Teri Miller:
I am not cool.
Dr. Amy Moore:
[crosstalk 00:43:31]
Teri Miller:
What have I been to? Andy Grammer and James Taylor and I didn’t get a t-shirt either time.
Kim Hanson:
Well, luckily Target sells rock band t-shirts
Teri Miller:
Oh my gosh that’s so funny.
Kim Hanson:
All you have to do is go and buy one. Try it out. Try it next Friday.
Teri Miller:
I love it. That’s a fun idea.
Kim Hanson:
Wait to hear your kids say something like, “Cool t-shirt, mom.”
Teri Miller:
I’m afraid that my kids would go, “Why are you wearing that? You don’t even listen to that music.”
Kim Hanson:
Try it. You might be surprised. You might get a compliment.
Teri Miller:
I don’t think Andy Grammer is considered a rock man.
Kim Hanson:
Well, you’re not going to find Andy Grammer at Target.
Dr. Amy Moore:
Well, do you think that it would-
Kim Hanson:
Target’s already picked out the cool bands.
Teri Miller:
Okay.
Dr. Amy Moore:
So is it cool to wear rock bands that you like and you listen to, like what we used to listen to in the eighties or is it cooler to pick bands that they like?
Kim Hanson:
Well, I think you can do either. You know what I mean? Like I have a Beatles t-shirt, my kids love the Beatles and the Beatles was even before me. But no, I’ll wear some from when I was a teenager. And actually a lot of them are from when I was a teenager, that I wear. But I’m not opposed… I have Maroon 5.
Dr. Amy Moore:
Maroon 5 is great. Nickelback. I could do Nickelback. Look at that.
Kim Hanson:
[crosstalk 00:45:14] Nickelback.
Dr. Amy Moore:
That’s awesome. Goodness, that’s good. And even the old ones like Chicago, kids still like that band. I can do this. I can get there. I can be cool.
Teri Miller:
Jon Bon Jovi.
Kim Hanson:
For sure.
Teri Miller:
He’s still relevant.
Kim Hanson:
So, those are my 10 tips on how to be a cool mom.
Teri Miller:
Okay. I’m going to recap them and tell me if I’m on target.
Kim Hanson:
Okay. This is-
Teri Miller:
I’ve made my checklists. Sunglasses and jeans. I’m good there. I got my Dollar Tree sunglasses, they are cool. And I got my mom jeans, so I’m good. Number two. Loud music, got to work on that. I’m generally the one saying, “Can we turn the music down”. I’m going to turn my music up. Loud music. I can do that.
Kim Hanson:
And with the sunroof open.
Teri Miller:
Yes. That’s right. Loud music with the sunroof open. I don’t have one, but maybe my next car, we’ll see. Number three, this one’s really powerful. Be who you want them to be. And I’m going to say to myself that it’s not too late, because I kind of felt bad hearing that. I wasn’t who I wanted them to be, to my kids that are older. I have nine altogether, so, I did a lot of messing up with the older ones. But so if you’re listening to this and you’re feeling like, “Yeah, I’ve already messed it up.” No-
Dr. Amy Moore:
We’ve all messed it up. Just know that. We’ve all messed it up.
Kim Hanson:
No, one’s perfect.
Teri Miller:
And so it’s not too late. Be who you want your kids to be when they’re your age. And so, even if I just want my kids to see that I can grow and learn and I am a strong overcomer. There you go. Number four. I love this one. We do some, but I want to introduce more fun repeatable traditions. So fun. Definitely going to do more of those. Number five, always say yes to that alone time, lunch or coffee or whatever it may be. Even if you can’t do it right then, you say, “Yes, I can do it later.” Love that.
Teri Miller:
Number six, be selective with cringiness. That one’s hilarious. No explanation needed. Number seven intentionally show love. Again, that one’s so important. I think we all do that as moms, but we all could do it more. So I know I definitely can and I’ve got some ways I’m going to do that. Number eight, involve them and what you do. So important. I think that’s a part of helping them be who you want them to become, involve them in what you’re doing. And number nine. Culture over rules. Beautiful. So good. Let it be the culture of your family, not dos and don’ts. And number 10, rock band shirt. Got to get that
Kim Hanson:
Rock a rock.
Dr. Amy Moore:
So I find it interesting. Kim is a fashionista for those of you who don’t know her. And so she has amazing taste in fashion. And so it’s fun to hear that three of her suggestions revolve around what we wear.
Teri Miller:
Nice. Okay. I’m going to be a cooler mom.
Dr. Amy Moore:
Is there anything that you would still like to say that you haven’t gotten to say?
Kim Hanson:
I think that’s it. I think that, also there are a lot of parents out there right now with kids that are struggling in school. And if you find yourself in that position would really find out why, and that’s what we do at LearningRx. We can help pinpoint why your child is struggling. There are a lot of kids who are really smart at a lot of things, but they struggle in one or two areas and we can find out why, and then we can strengthen those underlying skills. When your kids can live and learn better, faster and easier, their life is going to be better. And so I think also taking your kids to LearningRx is a way to be a cool mom.
Dr. Amy Moore:
Absolutely.
Kim Hanson:
I’ll end with that.
Dr. Amy Moore:
That means I’m cool.
Teri Miller:
I’m cool too. And I’m going to get cooler with my youngest one here soon.
Dr. Amy Moore:
Kim, you’re also an author with your dad of a book. Tell us quickly about that and where our listeners can find that.
Kim Hanson:
I just happened to have it right here in my desk. It’s called Unlock the Einstein Inside. And if you go to our website at learningrx.com, you can download a copy for free. You can also go to Amazon and if you like the paper, you can order one. But you can download that for free at learningrx.com.
Dr. Amy Moore:
And in that book, you and your dad talk about the science of brain training and why it’s important and what it can do and the hope that it offers.
Kim Hanson:
We even give you a few examples of some training that you could do yourself with your child, right in your home. So at the end, we give you some ideas for that. If you’re a teacher, we also have a section for teachers and we also have a CE course that’s listed in there that you can go and take for free. So, lots of things that you can do that don’t cost you any money.
Dr. Amy Moore:
Fantastic. All right. Well, we just want to take this minute to say thank you, Kim, for joining us today for a second time, it was such a popular episode. So we’re thrilled that you took time out of your busy schedule to come back and share more tips for moms. If you would like to know more about Kim’s work, you can visit LearningRx.com. You can find her on LinkedIn as well. Kim is very active on LinkedIn and we will put the link to the website and a link to her social media accounts in the show notes, as well as the link she was talking about to get her book, which you can also find under the Brainy Books tab on our website, brainymoms.co.
Dr. Amy Moore:
So if you enjoyed our show today, we would love it if you would leave us a five star rating and review on Apple Podcasts. If you would rather watch us, and this would be the one to watch, because Kim had a lot of visual aids, you can find us on YouTube and on every social media channel @TheBrainyMoms.
So look until next time we know that you’re busy moms and we’re busy moms. So we’re out.
Teri Miller:
See ya.
Kim Hanson:
Happy Mother’s Day.
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